Yesterday, Carol returned home (smiling all the way) to Bennington and spent the remainder of the day in the company of her family. Her bed was in the living room, the best spot in the house. She "chatted much of the day on and off", enjoying her beautifully prepared home. Thank you Paul for your meticulous attention to Carol's home.
Later in the evening, Carol's breathing started to change and she was dozing more, becoming less responsive. Sue was aware of the change and sat by her side. At 2 am this morning, Sue called hospice to check in and decided that it would be best call her family at the local hotel. By 3:30 am, everyone had assembled and Carol was "clearly in transition."
Sue said that she and her family took turns holding Carol's hand, speaking to her in soothing tones and sitting vigil. By this time, Carol was not able to speak and appeared to be restless. "Beth picked up a rattle and began to shake." Immediately, "Carol relaxed, her shoulders went down, she became more animated, her eyebrows raised, her eyes moved beneath her closed eyelids, and a smile came to her face." The family took turns rattling through the morning hours and Carol remained relaxed. Softly, the family read to Carol from the comments left on this website, letting Carol know how deeply and broadly she had touched the lives of others. The family rattled and watched, as the intervals between Carol's inhalations became longer. Then, "she just breathed out one more time and that was it...It was very peaceful."
A little later in the morning, the hospice nurse was called and pronounced her. Carol was washed, cleaned up, and cared for as "this was her style." Then, Sue said, "we did the Irish wake thing, not raucous (like some Irish wakes can be) but we told stories." Later, when the family was ready, Carol's body was taken to the funeral home. Carol had requested that she be cremated. Her ashes will be buried in the family plot in her home town.
Before Carol died, she requested that her shamanic friends Deb and John, organize a ceremony for her. There will be two shamanic ceremonies for Carol, the first of which will occur this Sunday, October 27th, 10 am, at her home in Bennington (71 Everett Road, Bennington Vermont). This will be a simple ceremony, with drumming to support Carol on her journey. It will be held in her yard, so please bring appropriate outerwear and, if you have them, your drums and rattles. Following this ceremony, there will be a potluck. Please bring food to share and serving utensils. Tea and cider will be provided. Also, if you have any photographs of Carol, please bring these as well. As you know, Carol lost all of her photographs in her house fire, and it would be lovely for her family to have photographs of Carol. If you don't have time to make a copy for Carol's family, bring them anyway and you can send a copy later. A more formal ritual/ceremony will be organized in a month or so.
If anyone has questions regarding the circle, please feel free to contact John Hearst at:[email protected] or Debbie Klein at: [email protected].
There will also be a Catholic mass to honor Carol. As soon as plans are finalized, I will add a post to this website. The service will probably be held in Prattsburg. Details will be announced.
If you would like to make a donation, please contribute in Carols' name to one of the two following organizations. Carol believed strongly in the benefits provided by both of the following organizations:
Second Chance Animal Center
6779 Rt. 7A
Shaftsbury, VT 05262
802-375-0249
www.2ndchanceanimalcenter.org/
or
Project Against Violent Encounters (PAVE)
471 Main Street
Bennington, VT
pavebennington.org/
This website will be maintained for an indefinite period of time. I will add another blog page, so that you can express your condolences to the family or share stores of Carol. You can also post questions. I will answer them if I can or refer them to the family.
Some years ago, I was honored to work with a Native American gentleman who was preparing for his death. He gave me the following traditional Navajo prayer to read at his memorial service. For some reason I think of it now and offer it to Carol.
In Beauty May I Walk
In beauty may I walk;
All day long may I walk;
Through the returning seasons may I walk.
Beautifully will I possess again
Beautifully birds
Beautifully butterflies…
On the trail marked with pollen may I walk;
With grasshoppers about my feet may I walk;
With dew around my feet may I walk.
With beauty before me may I walk
With beauty behind me may I walk
With beauty above me may I walk
With beauty all around me,
may I walk.
It is finished in beauty.
It is finished in beauty.
It is finished in beauty.
To our beautiful Carol..may you walk in beauty.
with appreciation,
Barbara