Hello

I spoke with Sue at 11 am Wednesday morning. Here is a synopsis of our conversation:

Plans are being made to transport Carol to her home in Bennington, at Carol's request.  The house is set up and ready to receive her.  She is tentatively scheduled to be discharged this afternoon.  Carol is having a picc line inserted to make administration of her medications easier.  She is on nasal oxygen and her kidneys are failing.   Carol is in good pain control and is alert.  Her sense of humor is intact, as well as her ability to communicate her preferences.

Most of Carol's family are returning home today.  Her sisters Sue and Beth will accompany Carol to Bennington and serve as her primary caregivers with the help of Bennington Hospice.  Carol's mother may stay in Bennington or may go home to be with Carol's father, who is returning to their home in the Finger Lake region.

Carol is requesting that her friends refrain from calling her, as she does not have the energy to respond to phone calls.  Once she is settled in her home, she will let us know (via Sue, via this weebly) when and whether or not she wants to receive visitors.  Sue said that "visiting Carol for a few minutes to squeeze her hand and sit with her would be fine" during certain times of the day (to be determined based on how she is doing once she's settled in). 

Carol is aware of the healing energy being sent her way as well as the beautiful messages of support and gratitude being conveyed through the weebly.  Sue has printed out copies of your messages and is reading them to Carol, with the understanding that all Carol needs to do is to receive the love and appreciation that is being sent her way.  It is important for Carol to receive now and to let go of feeling that she needs to respond or reply in any way. 

I will let you know as soon as I do when Carol is ready to receive visitors.  Until then, please continue to send her your loving energy and appreciation.  Know that it is reaching Carol.

Warmly,

Barbara

Deb and I drove to Dartmouth this morning. We found Carol in a comfortable private room with her sister, Sue.
Carol is peaceful, alert and aware (her pain meds are being managed and fine tuned).
Sue allowed us quiet time with Carol.  We did some energy work, during which Janet (Mom) came in, participating by rattling and holding sacred space with us.
Much of our time together was in silence, as that is where healing happens.

Carol journeyed into healing, clearly tapping into her guides and sacred wisdom.  She is at peace and looking very beautiful.

This blog is a wonderful vehicle for people to express their thoughts to Carol. She is appreciative, if not a bit overwhelmed by the influx of energies
that are surrounding her now.  I reassured her that she did not have to respond to each message....just receive.

Her family is gathering around her as families do - they too are taking comfort from the blog messages.

We are so thankful to have had this visit, and wish to honour Carol and her family at this time.

with so much love (as Carol has taught us!) -   Deb Klein and Anastasia Nute

Hello,

Carol had a difficult day today.  She did not see the palliative care physician until mid afternoon, and by that time she was pretty uncomfortable.  Her pain is being better addressed at this point, however, and her palliative care physician will re-evaluate her later tonight or tomorrow morning. Carol will not be leaving the hospital until her pain is well managed.  Carol and her physician are in agreement on this.

In the meantime, the social worker is coordinating arrangements for Carol to be transferred home with hospice home care followup in Bennington.  Plans are being made to deliver necessary equipment such as a hospital bed, and Sue is inquiring about the types of support services available through hospice.  

Carol is generally alert, though she fatigues easily and sleeps on and off during the day.  Sue says that when Carol wakes up, she is "refreshed."  Visitation is very limited at this time and Carol is communicating clearly about her need for a calm and restful environment.  On a somewhat humorous note, Carol summarily dismissed everyone from her room today with the exception of her physician. Her nurse eventually convinced her that it might be in Carol's best interest to have her present for a discussion on symptom management. Carol agreed and allowed the nurse to stay. Not so for the rest of the retinue, however.

Carol is having more symptoms, which suggests continued tumor growth and disease progression.  The top priority right now is to get her into good pain control and symptom management.   If all goes well, discharge will be in the very near future. There are still details to arrange, and Sue is doing a terrific job of managing all of this. 

Additional members of Carol's family are arriving tomorrow.  They will be staying nearby and understand that Carol can only manage short visits interspersed with periods of rest. 

Carol is scheduled to receive her friends Stacie and Deb tomorrow for a short visit in the morning.  I hope that they will post an update on their visit to this website.

The hospital environment sounds pretty busy, between hospital personnel of all varieties coming in and out of her room, and more family coming to see Carol tomorrow.  Again, the top priorities are to get Carol into good pain control, evaluate the potential for her to return home in the near future, and make all of the necessary arrangements for this to happen. 

Please continue to hold Carol in your heart and mind, and send her healing energy.  She expresses appreciation for the shamanic work and prayer circles being held on her behalf.  If all goes well, she'll be home soon, and be able to see people for very short visits. 

I'll keep you posted to the best of my ability.  My thanks to Sue for her generosity in speaking with me and for the wonderful care she is giving Carol.  She is a fierce advocate for her sister.

Warm regards,

Barbara

Hello friends,

I spoke at length with Sue, Carol's older sister and primary caregiver. Carol told me that she is very grateful for Sue's presence.  Carol was scheduled to speak with Hospice of Bennington tomorrow morning, but required an emergency admission to the hospital over the weekend for symptom management. Currently, she is in Dartmouth-Hitchcock Hospital (DHH), awaiting a consultation with the palliative care team, which was postponed until tomorrow morning.  .

Carol is resting comfortably with her mother and sister by her side.  Carol has signed a DNR (do not resuscitate order) and has, according to her sister, "accepted her circumstances, though she is understandably disappointed."
Sue said "Carol is not afraid of dying, she is just afraid of being in pain" as part of the dying process.  Carol is not eating and is drinking very little, though she is better hydrated now. Her tumors are growing rapidly, and she is no longer a candidate for chemotherapy or surgery.  She will be treated aggressively with palliative care for pain and symptom management.  Dartmouth Hitchcock is well known for having a top notch palliative care team, so she is in good hands. Carol told Sue that she is glad to be in the hospital at this point in time, and that she "feels safe."

Carol would like to go home if possible.  This will be discussed tomorrow at the meeting with her primary care physician and the palliative care team.  In the meantime, Carol and Sue have been making preparations for her sooner than expected departure from this life. While alert at present, Sue does not anticipate that Carol will be able to engage in further preparatory dialogue for much longer.  One of Carol's concerns is her beloved cat Bast.  It would be an enormous relief for Carol to know that Bast will be well cared when she's gone.  If you are able to give Bast a new home or know of someone who is able to do so, please let us know as soon as possible.  This would be a relief for Carol and a gift. 

Carol is aware of her friend's presence in her life and sends her love and appreciation to everyone who is accompanying her on this journey. She is open to and appreciative of any healing ceremonies conducted on her behalf. Carol wants everyone to know that however much she would like to speak with each person individually, she is not able to do so at this point.  If circumstances change, and she is able to have visitors, she will let us know through Sue. 

Sue is Carol's champion now and is doing a wonderful job of advocating and caring for Carol.  Please include Sue in your prayers and meditations.  

It is unclear if Carol will be able to return home.  I will let you know this decision as soon as I do. 

In the meantime, please continue to send your love and prayers for Carol. May she be at ease, may she feel safe, and may she feel at peace.  

One of Carol's many friends, 
Barbara

I am writing this post on behalf of Carol until she is able to post her own update.  I received an e-mail from Carol at 4pm today (Sunday October 20th).  She is at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Hospital and is receiving a palliative care consultation as I write.  Carol is with members of her family.  That is all that I know at present.

Dartmouth-Hitchcock has a wonderful palliative care program and one of the best palliative care physicians in the world, Dr. Ira Byock.  I hope that he is with Carol now. 

Please send Carol lots of love and healing energy.  Carol has given so much to so many over the years.  Now it is her turn to receive.  Let’s shower her with love and ask that her guides surround her as well.

In an effort to give Carol the space and time she needs right now to be present to herself and to make important decisions, please post your well wishes on this site rather than calling her by phone. 

I will post any news that I hear.  If you receive some news, I hope that you will do the same.  Using this network will spare Carol duplicative updates and help her to conserve energy.  

One of her many friends,

Barbara